Weekend with conflicts...

magritte-condition-humaine
Originally uploaded by madeinbrazil.

ok, so, as usual something new always happens with me on the weekend, so lets get to it.

Ok, so friday we go out, my cousin, her bfriend, myself and my other cousin comes later. I feel tempted to call the ex-fling, but I dont call her. Another woman who wanted to go out, before I thought about really inviting her, she says shes gonna stay @ home. So I go...

Im there at the bar, venting to my friends, having a nice chat and then... The ex-fling shows up out of the blue. Ok, so... For the past week I got really tired of acting nice to her and hear back some small offenses, some not-so-nice words. I know she says them to me not in an offensive way, but still, when it gets to a point its tiring, specially cause she says these things only to me.

So, I dont really know if she would be pissed I'm out and didnt invite her. Plus, whenever we talk were not having such a good conversation. I say a quick hello not to take the risk of something bad happening. Then she leaves for a minute, comes back says bye and then I try to say a propper hello, she is now pissed and she turns her back and leaves. Thats that for the night for me, I go home and my cousins go to another bar, I have to work saturday morning.

Saturday, my cousins stay at home sleeping, I go out to a bar with my cousin's bfriend. We sit, chat, rememberances from the past arent hitting me that much anymore, yey for me! But, my cousin gets pissed at me b/c we went out. Theres plenty more details regarding the "being pissed" that goes here, but I'll spare you.

On sunday, I almost go out at night with my cousin. He is going to somewhere new, doesnt know much what the place is like, doesnt know what time he is coming back. Since I had to work this morning early, I stay at home. After 1am he calls me, hes already home, the place sucked big time. In adittion, his friend that I've met several times from parties, had a fight with her bfriend. OMG! So many freaking fights, must be the moon...

At work, things are going, SSDD. Busy bee hiring new instructors.

To Alice that asked, a little more details from the situation at work... Our manager (shes not my boss though) told the company owners some things about the way I was interacting with the staff. Sometimes I do pressure, I ask for things for yesterday. She tells some cases to my boss that had already been solved. My boss calls my attention. Of course, I was a bit incorrect in my actions, but who doesnt slip? She was a bit unfair also, telling her version of the story.

Oh well, and so life is. Another week is to come, lets go for it!
peace!

Its good ole me!

The rules of the game

The Son of Man - Rene Magritte
Originally uploaded by madeinbrazil.

Ok, as a miracle let's talk about something totally different here. I was a bit hesitant to write about this topic here since it has my face and identity, but... oh well. This is venting time.

Sometimes I would like to be a bit more of a business thinker, a chess player, one who knows the rules of the game and is willing to play it. I am not that kind of person, really, sorry, but I have a bit of professional sense to avoid needing to do somethings.

I have always worked with the idea that at any moment I could say, "Fuck it! I quit!"; or that someone could tell me "Fuck you! You are fired!"

I've always worked with this mindset, but doing everything possible to do the best job I could. Which means, I go to work, give my best, do my best, dont kiss ass, make those around me and the company happy and then go home. Luckly this has given me positive results so far. In all my workplaces I've had promotions, I was given trust and have never been fired.

Now, I've been placed in a situation where someone is pulling the strings against me. I could impose the authority and respect I have with me that is attached to my position, but who would benefit? Would I truly benefit from pointing out to a company who is being manipulative? I really think not, thus...

The wheels are now turning, we will see which direction it will take...

peace!! and remember to smile always!!

Dom Quixote

dom quixote
Originally uploaded by madeinbrazil.

ok... another weekend update...

This week has come and gone, not a minute too soon. At work, some stressful events, but what is work without those moments.. Its the natural process. I was planning to have a bit of a lighter workload until the end of this month. But... change of plans and my life for the next month or so at work will be pretty hard. But... oh well, suck it up and take it like a man.

Social life... this weekend was a lot lighter then usual. My pocket felt the effects of the past weekends. Added to that, Im increasingly tired. But, yesterday was fun, we went out to a nice bar we had never been before and afterwards we went to another bar. Got home after 5am.

The fling situation, which was suppose to have been ex-fling is still generating a few headaches. Its something that for some reason I cant get out of easily. I need a new hobby, a sport, something to occupy my time so I dont feel the need to call. I havent seen her in a while, but phone calls are almost daily, either from me or from her.

I just saw the batman movie, after these kinds of movies sometimes I catch myself thinking of life in another reality. Time to read Dom Quixote again, get the tricks to change one's life without much effort. I feel like I am in need of change again, change cities, change something.

Until that time all that is left is going to sleep and get ready for another workday. But, always making it fun!!

Oh Happy Nights!

Oh Happy Night! - Alfred Gockel
Originally uploaded by madeinbrazil.

ok... so... This weekend there were quite a few change of plans, but in the end it was all fine and dandy!

Ok, so thursday we all went out, I mean a bunch of people, 2 cars.. So, some facts were already stated here, the most important one, but theres still other stuff...

ok, so we go out in 2 cars, my cousin, the girl he is/was going out with and her friend. In our car, me, my other cousin's bfriend and herself. So, close to where we stay there was a police checkpoint (often found in Brazilian streets to check for car documents and such). My aunt's car had expired docs, so we paid a heafty fine and almost had the car towed. But we get to the bar. The night passes and the end of the night was already mentioned.

Friday I sleep, sleep a lot.

Saturday I had sortta spoken with a friend to go out, I was wanting to go out with her sister actually, or another mutual friend of ours. This friend is the same my cousin is hooking up with. She didnt want to go out with us and took her sister and her friend with her. I went out though with my cousin and 2 friends. After going to 2 places that were empty we find a very nice place, we sit, chat, have fun and come back home at 5am.

Sunday, valentine's day here in Brazil. I plan to stay at home, dont want to go out and give anyone any ideas that I want a serious relationship (this day here is really for romantic relationships). My cousin organizes to go out with the friend I had introduced. She disses him, he calls me, we go out.

We go to a bar, then at the end of the night (I had to go home to sleep early) something happens. I was casualing looking at the people at the bar when I see a girl starring at me. She gives me that flirty stare. It was all out of a sudden, I was already going home... I check and yup, shes giving me that look. Ok, my cousin approaches, coming back from the bathroom, and he is closer to her then I am. I look at him and signal for him to go and invite her to the our table. He goes, but he doesnt bring her, he makes out with her right there, lol. See how my friends are... lol

So, we go out of the bar but we changed plans again. We dont go home, we go to another bar. At the end of that bar, I swear, here comes a woman and flirts with me, but... I think due to the fact that I went out so my cousin doesnt feel being dissed that much... I pay no attention to her, he ends up hooking up with her... just my luck.. lost two women that night... oh well.

I dont know what was in me that night... Before going out on sunday I visited the ex-fling (is there such a thing?? I need another name to mention her). I went there just to say hello.

Ok, so I get home at 5am, sleep 30mins then go to work. Busy bee weekend. Next weekend I think should be a lot lighter, but... who knows..

peace out!

dream big

dream big
Originally uploaded by madeinbrazil.

Ok... so... oficially as of today its over, the temptation to be with the fling is over, the attempts, the times I tried, the work I've put into it, the effort, the emotion, myself.. It's over, she decided not to accept my offer, not to accept me, so... "I'm free as a bird.." (as the Beatles say...).

And so it is, a bittersweet feeling, but nonetheless necessary thing for both of us to live our lives. It's over, the attempt to become something else. We are friends, very good and close friends, nothing more.

Now, bring it on!!! Lets go, lets see whats out there, saturday I have a few options of going out, but the person Im really looking for... we will see...

Peace out!!! Im sorry for it not to have worked out, but we've reached a conscensous.

Peace & much luvs!!!

"Shes a brick and I'm drowning slowly.." (Ben Folds, Brick)

And another non-typical weekend...

Hot & Sassy I - Alfred Gockel
Originally uploaded by madeinbrazil.

Ok, so this has been an unexpected weekend.

It all started on friday, I was extremely tired at home, thinking about going out with my cousin to have a quick drink. Then I receive a message from a friend saying she really wants to go out, her sister just broke up with her now ex- and also wants to go out.

I call my cousin to tell him about the news and we go to get them. We go out, first to a chilled, more romantic bar, they dont like it, its not upbeat enough, we move and go somewhere else. We go somewhere else, it was a blast. I was talking with my friend's sister while my cousin was talking to my friend. To make a long story short, it was very nice. I was very happy to have gone out with this person, I was trying to go out with her for a while.

Saturday we all go out again, the night doesnt go so well, some things happened. I just wasnt much in the mood after a few things occured...

Sunday we go out, her sister doesnt go out, she was sleeping. I get home, shes awake and we chat on the net, today again. We are set to go out again on saturday.

But... saturday is a loooong way from here, lets see what happens, whos going to accompany me this weekend. Its also a tricky weekend, its our valentine's day on sunday, we gotta pick well who is going to accompany me not to give any wrong ideas...

A strange but very nice weekend. We shall see what happens. Peace!!